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My son was born 3 years ago on this very day. Yes, as you all already know,
today would have been his third birthday. Simon was born with a birth defect.
The doctor told us he is doubtful that he will survive. None of us believed him
of course. I remember, when I looked at Simon’s little body in the NICU, I saw a
very strong-willed little boy. I knew he would fight for his survival. The
doctors were amazed as to how Simon had somehow recovered and three months
after, Simon was finally home.
Simon’s first birthday was a very special one. He was so happy; you could just
see it in his eyes. Even though Simon can not speak yet that time, I knew what
he was thinking. He was thinking perhaps of how lucky he was to have been given
the chance to celebrate a birthday… his first birthday. Simon was a fighter.
Despite all the painful procedures, despite going back and forth to the hospital
Simon stayed strong… much stronger than my wife and I was. After every surgery,
when Simon wakes up you would always see a big smile on his face. Even if he’s
too tired, he would still give out such a beautiful smile as if telling me and
my wife that everything is going to be just fine. That’s our Simon. He is such a
fighter.
On his second birthday, Simon was already getting rather weak. We weren’t able
to have a party on that day as we have been in the hospital for 2 weeks because
of another surgery. Back then, exactly 1 year ago, the doctors told us Simon
will eventually die. When I heard that, I was shattered. Simon had suffered too
much already and for what? For him to eventually just die? That’s what I really
thought back then. I didn’t see the whole point in all that we have been
through. I was really hoping that Simon could somehow make it through. But… at
the back of my head, I also knew that Simon would not stay with us for long. But
of course it is different when his doctor told us about it. It was a
confirmation; A type of confirmation that was scaring me.
After that surgery, me and my wife have decided to let Simon enjoy the time that
is left for us to be together. I know Simon also have an idea of what’s coming
to him even at a young age of 2. Yet, he was still such a jolly little child.
Always with a smile on his face and he never cease to be amazed by anything that
he sees. He seemed to always be a very happy little child.
Simon’s health did diminish as days pass by and we saw him getting weaker and
weaker. I was helpless… We were helpless. There’s nothing we can do but watch
our little child take all of it and the only thing we can do to help was to hold
his hand and hear his screeching screams. Just then I told to myself, I could
not handle letting the doctors hurt my son more. Right there and then I thought
of just letting my son live his life without ever experience those therapies
again. That was two months and a half ago.
When we left the hospital, Simon still has that pretty smile on his face. When
we reached our house, I heard him scream in laughter. His giggles warmth our
house and he was so happy. For those remaining two months, my wife and I have
kept vigil on Simon. For 24 hours we were there beside him, 12 hours my wife and
the next 12 hours would be my time for vigil. As my son died, I felt relieved.
Simon had died a somewhat painless death and I saw him smile his last smile. I
will never ever forget that smile. Simon had left us yes, but I knew that Simon
was given to us just so we could meet our angel. Yes, I do believe Simon is our
angel who is watching over me and my wife. I will forever remember you, Simon.
Your daddy loves you so much.
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